“I love the person I’ve become, because I fought to become her.” ~Kaci Diane


Think back ten years ago, five years ago, even just one year ago. Who were you then? What were you doing? What dreams, goals, and aspirations did you have? Are any of them true now? Was there anything that came up that was not part of your plan?

I believe that last question is an understatement. Most of what I had in mind one year ago, much less ten years ago, has drastically changed. Life threw curveballs at me left and right. It was just one thing after another. Before I could fully accept one thing, here comes something else! I was happy, sad, angry, depressed, lost, confused, hopeful, afraid, all not necessarily in that order. I had to adjust, had to adapt to the rapidly changing pace my life had turned into. I desperately needed the love, encouragement, and strength of my family, closest friends, and God most of all, to keep myself going. I had fallen away from God at the time, but never once did He give up on me. All that has happened in this past year alone is proof of that.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Never has this verse been more apparent to me than it is now. He knows what’s best, knows the paths we should follow, He opens doors I never thought were even possible. All the challenges that I’ve faced have shaped me into the person I am today. The mistakes I made, I’ve learned from them. I’m stronger because of them. I still have a ways to go, but I know with God’s help I will get there. God has a way of bringing out the best version of ourselves if we will just open our eyes and hearts to what He’s showing us. Take a leap of faith and trust that there is a light at the end of this road.

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,” (Ephesians 1:18).

“Faith is seeing light with your heart when all your eyes see is darkness.”




“My theory is about moments. Moments of impact. My theory is that these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down actually end up defining who we are. The thing is, each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced, with all the people we’ve ever known, and it’s these moments that become our history. Like our own personal greatest hits of memories that we play and replay in our minds over and over again. A moment of impact. A moment of impact whose potential for change has ripple effects far beyond what we can predict. Sending some particles crashing together, making them closer than before. While sending others, spinning off into great ventures, landing where you never thought you’d find them. You see, that’s the thing about moments like these, you can’t, no matter how hard you try, control how they’re going to affect you. You’ve just got to let the colliding particles land where they may, and wait, until the next collision.” –The Vow

Life has a way of changing right before our very eyes. Sometimes we can become distracted and miss these changes, but sometimes they can happen in an instant and nothing is the same again. All of a sudden you’re wondering how in the world you ended up here. Confusion and frustration set in. What do I do now? Where do I go from here? Everything was just perfect, why did it have to be this way? What did I do to deserve this?

In this moment, all seems to have fallen apart. You may feel that way for days, weeks, even months. But eventually, you’ll pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and realize everything is going to be okay. How do I know this? Because it’s happened. Because I’ve experienced “moments of impact”. I remember feeling lost and confused, not knowing which way to turn. But I got over it. I moved on. I am thankful now for those moments. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for them. They have shaped and molded me into a better, stronger person, and the best part about it was I didn’t have to face it alone. I had the support of family, friends, and most importantly, I leaned on God for strength. My eyes were opened to this new chapter of my life that He had written for me. I didn’t understand at the time why what I thought was His great and wonderful plan, really wasn’t the one for me. The plan I was on made sense. I had that set in my mind for a really long time. To me, it was the perfect plan. The perfect set up. Turns out, that was not the best thing for me. I know that now. It took some time. It took a lot of prayer. I started to see how little my faith and trust actually was in God. I was trying to have more control than He was over my own life. And now, that I’ve started on a new path presented to me by Him, I couldn’t think of anything better. He knows what’s best for me and He knows what’s best for you. The past few months have been a period of spiritual growth for me. I started to see things differently and everything suddenly became clear why it didn’t work out like I wanted. And I am good with that. I really am. Because I would’ve missed out on this new and exciting journey I’m on right this very moment. I would’ve missed the opportunity to grow, to learn, and to be a part of something brighter. From now on I’m letting God take the lead in this dance of life. Everything turns out much better, goes over more smoothly when He is in control. I challenge you to do the same. When all appears to have fallen apart, lean on God. He knows what He’s doing.

“Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”
Psalm 25:4-5


“One cannot change the past, but one can ruin the present by worrying over the future.”


015c00ea5aa4ce77bab83efdcc781088It’s been awhile since I’ve updated my blog, mostly due to my busy schedule with school. This summer I made the mistake of signing up for 3 classes, 7 hours, online. One class also only lasted through the month of June (something I will NEVER do again if I can help it). This is the biggest load I have ever taken during the summer and I can definitely say it’s been one of the most stressful semesters as well. You see, one of my classes, the one that only lasted a month, is actually a retake for me. I took it this past spring term, but did not make the required B- I needed. Because I am applying to internships after I graduate, I must have verification statements from my teachers. In order to get these verification statements I must make at least a B- in ALL of my upper level courses. When I signed up for this course again this summer, I was not aware it was only going to last a month. But I thought I would be done quicker and I also just took the class, so one would think I could pull out a B- this time. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Again. I basically had an emotional breakdown about this situation because I was so stressed, so burnt out, and so worried about grades, about graduating, about whether I was even going for the right major. To be honest, I felt SO overwhelmed by everything and didn’t feel cut out for this kind of work. I’m also very tired of having graduation continually pushed back a semester because of classes I need to retake. As of right now, I should graduate a year and a half passed my 4 years, which puts me at December of 2014. And that’s with going through all the summers as well.

Once I got past my emotional breakdown, I realized that I shouldn’t be so worried about when I will actually graduate and how long it will take me to get there. I need to take it one semester at a time, focusing on the classes that are going on right now, right this moment. It does me no good to continually focus all my attention on graduation in the future, when I should be focused on what’s going on in the present moment. Instead of trying to cram everything in so I can graduate sooner, which usually backfires anyway, I need to pace myself. Take each semester slow and really put all my time and attention into doing my best with the current semester first, before focusing on anything else.

There are several scriptures in the Bible I try to remind myself of, especially when worry likes to creep into my mind. Luke 12:22-26 says, “Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” Matthew 6:34 also states, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

I need to have more faith in God that everything will work out. Maybe not in my time, but definitely in His time. Maybe there’s a reason why I’ll be in school longer? Maybe I’m supposed to be in this place for a longer period of time? I no longer want to let my worries get in the way of everything going on right now. I want to live for the moment and take each day one day at a time, concentrating on what God has planned for me and what He want out of me.

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” ~ C.S. Lewis



We all view our past in different ways. Some look at it with regret, while others see it as an opportunity for change. Dwelling on our past mistakes and letting those mistakes control us and affect our outlook on life is not healthy. We must learn to let go and move on with our lives as better, stronger individuals. Most of the time, this is easier said than done.

In order to let go of our past we must put our trust in God that we can learn from our past mistakes and there will be something better waiting for us in the future. When we let thoughts of our past consume us and the worries and anxiety of what the future holds to completely overwhelm our minds, we lose that trust and faith in God.

I looked up the words “trust” and “faith” and discovered that trust means, “reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence”. Faith is defined as, “confidence or trust in a person or thing.” In scripture, faith is defined as “confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1). I also looked up the word “doubt” and found that it was defined as, “to be uncertain about; consider questionable or unlikely; hesitate to believe.” When we make the choice to continue living in the past and pondering over all of our mistakes and failures, we start doubting that God can change us and make us into something better.

Paul, an apostle of Jesus, is by far my favorite character in the Bible. Think about his past. Paul was a Christian martyr, killing innocent people just because they believed in God. He later experienced a close encounter with God, which completely transformed his life. No longer was Paul a murderer of innocent Christians, but he became one himself. He devoted his time and energy to spreading God’s word and teaching others about Jesus. He was persecuted because of his beliefs, but that did not stop him from carrying out God’s plan.

Paul could have looked back on all that he had done and let the guilt from his past keep him from becoming a great disciple of Jesus Christ, but he didn’t. When writing to the church in Ephesus Paul says, “I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace given me through the working of his power. Although I am less than the least of all the Lord’s people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the boundless riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose that he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence” (Ephesians 3:7-12).

The next time you decide to focus your attention on your past, shift your focus to God and what He has planned for your life. Put full confidence that He will make you a better person. Learn from your mistakes, but never doubt what God can do with you now. I can guarantee His plans will be better than what you have for yourself.